I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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