i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
