So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
