how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
