Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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