Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize