Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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