32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
