Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
