you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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