Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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