Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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