There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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