He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
