why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
