Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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