No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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