She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
