It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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