summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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