I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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