Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
