I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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