I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
