WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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