Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
