Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone owes me an orgasm
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
pop tarts are not kleenex
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize