So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
