She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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