you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
