im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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