threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
