there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
