this boner is exhausting
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
