ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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