the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
