Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
