Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
