OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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