I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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