It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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