im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
