You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
