i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
