erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
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No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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