im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
