p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
