so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
