"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
