Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
