we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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