hotel room ftw
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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