After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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