Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
