Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
