Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
